Hello most lovely family :) well this week has been awesome! We had a challenge from our ward mission leader to reach a standard of excellence he felt we could reach. It included 15 other lesson, 50 street contacts, 3 baptismal invitations and much more. Well, we took the challenge and this week has been great! The last two days we have had 12 lessons! This week we have 2 new baptismal dates and 3 new investigators! We are so close to meeting our 15 other lesson goal! It has been exciting to see this area progress and to leave it with some really great things happening. That was my goal-to leave the area better than I found it.
Well for my last my email I wanted to share My Mission Experience paper that we were asked to write at the end of our mission. In this paper I wrote about insights and wisdom I have gained and my testimony. I couldn't write all that I have learned and experienced, but this paper is a good summary. I hope you enjoy!
My Mission Experience
By Sister Emma Lounsbury
Sept 27th, 2014
Introduction:
2 years ago on October 6th, 2012 the age for missionaries to serve a full time mission was lowered. Boys could serve at age 18 and girls at age 19. The news changed the course of my life. I prayed, fasted and attended the temple, seeking to know if I should go on a mission. So many were going just because they could. I wanted to make sure that my desire to serve a mission was also the Lord's will. On November 28th I knelt down and once again prayed to know if a mission was right. I had already started my mission papers, but hadn't received an answer. I opened up my scriptures to 1 Nephi 20. Verse 6 read "Thou hast seen and heard all this; and will ye not declare them? And that I have showed thee new things from this time, even hidden things and thou didst not know them." When I read that, the thought came to me—I have been blessed with the gospel, a knowledge of God's plan, my purpose, my divine nature, a knowledge and testimony of my savior Jesus Christ and so much more—"Thou hast seen and heard all this; and will ye not declare them?" The footnote took me to 1 Corinthians 9:16 "For though I preach the gospel, I have nothing to glory of: for necessity is laid upon me; yea, woe is unto me, if I preach not the gospel!" This answer was crystal clear. A huge grin came across my face...I was going to serve a mission! Now at the end of my mission, I am overcome with emotion. I am filled with gratitude and sacred reverence for the experiences I have had and for the people I have met. I have learned and grown in ways that I never would have anticipated.
1. The insights I have gained, especially by teaching others:
•The most important thing I have learned is how to apply the Doctrine of Christ. I have heard about the principles faith, repentance, covenants, receiving the Holy Ghost and enduring to the end. I didn't know that the Doctrine of Christ was a pattern of living that would enable me to access the power of the atonement in my life. I have seen that one can not live the Doctrine of Christ and remain the same person. It is impossible to not be changed and improved if you are living Christ's teachings. I have seen that miraculous change in those I teach, but most importantly, I have seen that change in myself. I have been promised: "You will have a great testimony of the gospel. It will burn bright in your heart. You will know for sure the gospel is true."
I truly feel that my mission has helped me to gain that testimony of the gospel of Jesus Christ. Time and time again we have been instructed on the Doctrine of Chist. I can now say that I know for sure the gospel is true. This truth and testimony is most precious to me.
•To invite someone to come unto Christ means committing someone to change. I would do this over and over as a missionary. As I invited others to change, I realized that I too needed to make change on a lesser degree in my own life. For example, if I committed someone to overcome an addiction, I would realize that there are reoccurring weakness in my life that I need to overcome. As I committed someone to come to church, I would realize that I need to do a better job of preparing to be instructed at church and truly setting the Sabbath day apart from the other days. This perspective constantly challenged me to improve and be better. I love what my Mission President would say: "To invite someone to come unto Christ implies that we are already there."
•I have learned the importance of partaking of the sacrament. The sacrament is crucial in my spiritual healing and growth. I have come to understand that the sacrament is the time when I can be sanctified and cleansed from my sin. It is the time when I can reflect again upon all the covenants which I have made with God. It is a time I can set goals to once again improve. As I have reflected on what my investigators must do to prepare for baptism, I have realized my great need to prepare for the sacrament weekly.
•I have felt a need to do missionary work, even before my mission, but I didn't know what I could do to be a good member missionary. Coming on a mission has helped me to understand that there are many, many ways I can be a missionary. When I return home, I now have a good idea of how I can continue to hasten the Lord's work. I feel that I have learned how to be a good member in the future. Being a part of the leadership in the mission has helped me see how The Lord uses councils. I feel I have a greater understanding of God's vision and how councils are used in the church to help accomplish His vision.
•The strongest impressions from the spirit on my mission have come as we have talked about how the Lord's work is being hastened. I remember feeling the spirit so strongly as our mission received iPads as a tool to spread the gospel. I was able to feel and catch a glimpse of the Lord's vision to bring the gospel to every last one of His children. I felt the spirit witness to me that we truly live in the last days and that the work is being hastened to prepare for the coming of Christ. I have been able to feel and see that the Lord's ancient covenant to gather Israel is being fulfilled in our time. We live in the time that has been prophesied by prophets since the beginning. (Jacob 5:70-71)
2. I have learned a lot about Relationships:
•I never thought that on a mission I would end up learning so much about marriage. My major in school is marriage and family studies. On my mission I was able to put to practice a lot of things. I have learned about relationships, parenting, and working with different personalities. I was able to draw a lot of parallels with my relationships here. Working together with a companion gave me practice for working together with my future spouse. Praying, planning and teaching investigators taught me more about my future relationship with my kids. I was especially able to see that agency plays a huge role in God's plan. All we can do is teach, testify, encourage and set an example.
•The mission has allowed me the unique opportunity to get to know a lot of different people with different personalities. In particular, working with companions has taught me that there are so many different personalities, ways of thinking and ways of accomplishing a task. I think that there is no one way to do things. My eyes have been opened to new ways of getting things done. I have been able to see that we all have more in common than we have differences. I learned that you can get along with anyone if you really work at it.
•I've learned how to resolve conflicts with others in a good way. (Companionship inventory) I have learned that avoiding problems does not make it go away. The best thing to do is to be honest and to kindly address the issues so they can be resolved and you can move forward together.
•I have had some difficulties on the mission. I have learned to not be deterred by the challenges of those around me. I have learned of the power of hope. I know that I can remain hopeful and positive even when others around me are not. I've learned to endure trials well. There is no use in waiting and longing for challenges to end. Instead I must stop, remind myself that my loving Heavenly Father wouldn't give me more than I can handle, and then I must learn and grow from it.
3. Weaknesses identified and worked on:
•I have learned a lot about myself on my mission. My mission President always told us that the closer we come to Christ, the more He will show us our weaknesses. That has definitely been the case for me. I know that many weaknesses have been shown to me so that I could work on them and turn them into strengths.
a) One of the first things I learned about myself was that I had a lack of patience with myself and others. I have noticed that my inward attitude and frustration with myself was perpetuated outwardly onto others. I have been able to learn the principle of "line upon line, precept upon precept." (2 Nephi 28:30) I have been able to see that growth takes time. I have come to be patient with my own progress and the progression of others. I have learned to be happy with being a work in progress. This has also helped me to not be so overwhelmed and stressed out with the tasks ahead. There is only so much I can do in a day and if it doesn't get done today, I can work on it tomorrow.
b) I came to realize that I struggled with a lack of self-esteem—a continuing unwillingness to accept oneself. I have always been very hard on myself and have harsh critical thoughts about myself. Over this last year and a half I have realized how destructive those thoughts truly are. I have learned to push out negative thoughts just as I would push out immoral thoughts. I have learned to replace every negative, destructive thought with a positive, uplifting thought. As I did this, I was able to gain greater confidence. (D&C 121:45)
c) I have always had a hard time forgiving myself and receiving forgiveness from God. But I learned that when I refuse to forgive myself, I am turning away from the gift that Christ freely offers. I realized that if I sincerely repent and then refuse to forgive myself, then I "denieth the mercies of Christ, and setteth at naught the atonement of him and the power of his redemption." (Moroni 8:20) Any thought that puts me down, or make me feel unworthy of forgiveness, I know come from satan. Christ will never turn us away. "Behold, doth he cry unto any, saying: Depart from me? Behold, I say unto you, Nay; but he saith: Come unto me all ye ends of the earth, buy milk and honey, without money and without price. Behold, hath he commanded any that they should depart out of the synagogues, or out of the houses of worship? Behold, I say unto you, Nay." (2 Nephi 26: 25-26)
d) I also came to see that I struggled with "perfectionism—an attitude or behavior that takes an admirable desire to be good and turns it into an unrealistic expectation to be perfect now. Perfectionism sometimes arises from the feeling that only those who are perfect deserve to be loved or that we do not deserve to be happy unless we are perfect."
One of the greatest truths I have come to know and treasure is that God loves me. I have come to understand His nature. I have learned to trust God's mercy, love, grace and forgiveness. I have learned that I am eternally indebted to God and I can not pay him back.(Mosiah 2:19-25) I am undeserving of His love, yet He gives it anyway. If weaknesses and imperfections disqualified us from his help, then no one could receive His help. I now know that God can use me to do His work dispute my weaknesses and short comings. I feel that this knowledge has helped me to overcome feelings of discouragement. I feel that I have a greater understanding of God's true characteristics. I have come to believe that He accepts me, so I have finally learned to accept myself as well.
I now see weakness as part of mortality and an opportunity for growth. I've learned to be patient with them. I've even learned to be happy for them and to trust in God's time to help me overcome them. (2 Corinthians 12:7-10) One of the greatest testimony builders for me has been seeing the gospel of Jesus Christ change others, but even more miraculous to me is that slowly but surely, it has been changing me as well. I am fully aware of many of my weaknesses and who I am, when left to my own power. "God showeth [me my] weakness that [I] may know that it is by his grace, and his great condescensions into the children of men, that [I] have power to do these things" (Jacob 4:7) I know that I am who I am today because of God. I have the strengths, gifts and power to do what I do because of him. I can happily acknowledge that "I am nothing; as to my strength I am weak; therefore I will not boast of myself, but I will boast of my God, for in his strength I can do all things" (Alma 26:12)
4. Christ like attributes I have worked on:
•Patience is an attribute that I have had plenty of opportunity to practice. There is a quote I like that says: "were you never wearied by the annoying behavior of another or the repeated failures of someone else, you could never become patient." There were many I taught as a missionary who failed to progress or keep commitments. I had the opportunity to love them despite their shortcomings and to be patient with their progress. God blessed me with this love and patience for them. As I prayed for patience and love for others, I was able to develop greater patience for my own failures and short comings.
• I have learned to have greater hope and optimism. There are so many times every day as a missionary when your plans fall through. People cancel, don't show up, or have to reschedule. As a new missionary I remember being so disappointed when lessons that I had prayed about, planned for, and prepared for, fell through. I wondered what I was doing wrong or if I wasn't doing enough. I studied about hope and optimism and I learned to have hope that all thing shall work together for my good. (D&C 98:3-4) When my plans fell through, I learned to trust in God's plan for me. No matter what happens, I learned to see the growing opportunity and positive outcome from every situation. I gained greater hope in God's promises for me. I know this attribute will be a great blessing in the future when life takes a crazy turn or when things don't go according to plan.
• I have felt my faith grow on the mission. It was a leap of faith to come out on a mission. It took faith to trust that God would take care of my loved ones at home. On the mission it took faith that God was involved in my work even when our plans fell through or we had few people to teach. It takes faith to know that God has the power to do all things and to help me accomplish any goal "but if not," (Daniel 3:17-18) then his will be done. It takes faith every time to open my mouth to the stranger next to me and to talk about God. It takes faith to trust in God's forgiveness and mercy. I'm grateful for every opportunity I had to walk by faith and not by sight. I love this quote: "you must learn to walk a few steps ahead into the darkness, and then the light will turn on before you" (see also Ether 12:6)
•Coming on a mission has helped me to turn outward and to develop greater charity for others. As I have prayed, planned, and pondered on the needs of those I taught, I came to truly care for them. As I studied for them and served them, I developed a deep love for them. My heart broke when people I truly loved rejected the message that I knew would save them. It hurt me when they didn't appreciate all my many efforts to reach out to them. I was tempted many times to give up but I tried my best to be long suffering and to continue to reach out in love. I feel that I caught the smallest glimpse of how the Savior must feel when we reject him and his healing grace. Yet, with his perfect love, his arm of mercy never wavers. His arms is stretched out still in love and mercy, waiting for us to turn to him.
•I have learn about what it mean to be consecrated. Consecration is a topic I haven't studied before and I am so thankful it is one I was able to learn about on my mission. Christ sacrificed everything for me, and now I understand what I can put on the alter of sacrifice for Him. I'm so grateful that consecration has been a focus in our mission. I feel that I am living on a much higher plane. I feel like I truly have been sanctified from the world. (Helaman 3:35) I feel that my thoughts and language have become clean and pure. I have no desire to go back to things of the world of such little worth or value. (Mosiah 5:2) I now treasure all the time Christ has given me. I truly believe and feel in my heart that "time is one of the most precious resources Heavenly Father has given you." (Missionary handbook pg 13) I will not waste the time that I have to be here on this earth. I will not waste that gift. I plan on using my time wisely when I return home. I hope to spend my time on things that matter most. I will consecrate my life to God.
My call letter it stated: "You will also be expected to devote all your time and attention to serving The Lord, leaving behind all other personal affairs." When I was in my pre-mortal home looking into the eternities, I know that I did not make an 18 month commitment to give my all to Christ. I made a lifelong commitment.
"What I need, [Sister Lounsbury], are disciples—and I need them forever. I need someone to feed my sheep and save my lambs. I need someone to preach my gospel and defend my faith. I need someone who loves me, truly, truly loves me, and loves what our Father in Heaven has commissioned me to do. Ours is not a feeble message. It is not a fleeting task. It is not hapless; it is not hopeless; it is not to be consigned to the ash heap of history. It is the work of Almighty God, and it is to change the world." -Elder Jeffery R. Holland "The first great commandment Oct, 2012"
I know that God has a plan for me. I know that if I commit myself to be his disciple forever, that he can use me to bring about much good. In my mind, I feel that my mission is not really ending, it is just beginning. The work I have done here in New York I fully plan to continue when I am home. I will continue to find ways to bring those around me closer to Christ.
5. Conclusion
In closing, I want to write about a few things that I hope to carry on after my mission.
•VGPA (vision, goal, plan, accountability): without a plan, it is just good intention or a good idea. I will continue to set goals for myself to help propel myself forward.
•Daily studies, studying in behalf of others. I truly believe that there are other brothers and sisters in my influence that God wants me to strengthen and uplift. There are family, friends and people under my stewardship in callings that I will continue to seek out revelation for.
•Frequent prayer, seeking for guidance in all things. I want to be better at confirming with God that my plans are aligned with his.
•Seeking to truly live the doctrine of Christ. I want to always be thinking of what principle of the Doctrine of Chist I could be applying more. I want this doctrine to define me. I want it to become who am I—my character.
•Companionship inventory. This is a skill that I will be able to use in all relationships with people I care about. It is a way to let people know you love them and to resolve conflicts and set goals in a positive way.
•Getting to know ward members and missionaries by name. I will continue to pray for those around me and to love and serve the the best I can.
•Putting God and others before self: J-Jesus O-others Y-yourself. This is the formula for joy. I want to keep doing this when I get home.
My testimony
I would like to share my testimony of the things I know. I know that God is our Father and that loves each of us with a love that we cannot comprehend. He is always there, whether we recognize it or not. His love for me gives me confidence that I can be forgiven time and time again. I know He is patient with our weaknesses. He is our biggest support. He is always on our team, cheering us along. I know that my Savior Jesus Christ lives and loves me. Standing as a representative of Jesus Christ for a year and a half has helped me to understand the nature of his work. His whole life was about selfless service. Every act, every thought, every deed was focused on others. He taught us his doctrine and showed us the way to live. I know that because of his love for us, he suffered for the penalty of our sins. He took that pain and suffering upon himself so that we can be freed from the bondage of sin. I know that he was resurrected and that one day we too will be resurrected and united with our loved ones again.
I know that the Savior and his teachings—the gospel can help anyone. The gospel brings hope, light and joy that can not be found from any other source. Christ can heal any broken heart. He can fill any emptiness. He can lift the person in the lowest, darkest, scariest place. He can take away hate, anger, hurt, pain, despair and fear. He can fill you with love, light, healing, hope and faith. You can not live the gospel and remain the same person. It will transform you and slowly heal you. I know it because I have seen it every day here on the mission. And I know it because I can see miraculous changes within myself. I know the gospel of Jesus Christ changes lives.
I know that God has a specific and purposeful plan for each of his children. He is ever mindful of each one of us. His love is always there. This I testify of in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.
I love you all! I will see you next week :)
Love Sister Lounsbury